


Feeling Guilty

by Four_Five_Six



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Comforting, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 02:04:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17132975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Four_Five_Six/pseuds/Four_Five_Six
Summary: Lance feels awful a year after Allura's death, and he opens up to Keith on the anniversary of her death.





	Feeling Guilty

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MagnoliaDays](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagnoliaDays/gifts).



> Earlier, I wrote a post season 8 fic that was really sad. Here's another-but with a good ending.

Lance felt alone. 

This wasn’t unusual. He felt alone every night since her death. 

But now, it was a year after. 

365 days without her smile, without her face. 

He thought it would be best to separate himself from the rest of his friends, especially Keith. Every time he looked at Keith, he felt guilty. He felt as if he was misusing Allura’s memory by even looking at Keith’s eyes. 

But now, a year later, and the whole team had invited themselves to his farm on Altea. He had pretended to be happy to hear this. But Lance knew he would have to face Keith soon. That was inevitable. 

\---

Lance greeted everyone with a hug, though with each hug he felt more stiff and empty. He felt as if he was wearing a mask, and he shouldn’t be even happy. Lance showed everyone to his outdoor garden space where they would be eating dinner. Coran was already there, as he lived on Altea. Pidge arrived first, and Hunk arrived shortly after. They were followed by Shiro. 

And finally, Keith arrived. There he stood, his body outlined by the light from his ship. Lance saw the dark red jacket outlining the black shirt, and Keith’s long dark hair surrounding his face. He noticed Keith’s scar reaching up towards his eye. 

Lance looked away. There it was. He felt guilty again. He didn’t know why. He had no reason to, he was just looking, but he did. Keith walked closer, and Lance had to do the same greeting that the others recieved. 

He gave Keith a quick hug, and he felt the warmth of Keith’s body against him. He felt guilty. Angry at himself. He shouldn’t feel this way about Keith. For one, Keith is a boy. For two, It’s the anniversary of his girlfriend’s death. The hug became stiffer. before he pulled away, Keith whispered “It’s good to see you.” in Lance’s ear. 

Lance nodded and led Keith up the stairs to where the others were sitting. 

\---

Lance was sitting on his bed. He was feeling especially bad right now, and his day was only getting progressively worse. He lay down, feeling a mix of tired and alone. Out of the blue, he heard a knock on the door. Two sharp knocks, seeming partially casual and partly formal. Lance took a deep breath. 

“Come in!” He said, a false cheery voice taking over. The door swung open and Keith walked inside. 

“Hey.” Keith cautioned. He made a small wave. Lance sat up on the bed. 

“Hi” Lance replied.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah!”

“You sure?” 

Lance paused. Keith seemed genuinely worried. Concern flooded across his dark lilac eyes. 

“I can tell when someone feels heartbroken or saddened. I’ve felt them both.” Keith looked at Lance. Keith’s eyes seemed to search every bit of him. Lance looked away, avoiding eye contact. 

“I miss her. A lot.” Lance started. “And I know I should celebrate her life, but I don’t remember how to feel...happy. She took that with her. My happiness. And I think I like someone else,” Lance’s eyes briefly flicked to Keith, ”But I feel guilty about it. I feel like it would be disrespectful to love another.” Lance started to cry, tears spilling off of his eyelids and onto his sleeve. 

“I don’t remember how to love, or feel happy, or enjoy life. I remember nothing. I just...can’t.”

Keith looked Lance in the eye. 

“You may not like the beginning of this, but let me finish it.” Keith ventured. “I think you need to move on. Allura taught you to love, right? Well, I think you should honor what she taught you. Love someone else. Pour your heart and soul into people and things you love. Honor her memory by using the love she taught you to love others. Allura would want you to be happy.”

Lance started to cry. He stood up and hugged Keith. Lance felt Keith’s arms around him, an embrace that felt just right. He could feel every bit of warmth in Keith’s body, and every twitch of movement. He felt a twinge in his heart, but he ignored it. For the first time in a year, he felt at ease. 

After what felt like an eternity, Lance moved back, leaving the embrace. He remained close, however.  
“If you don’t mind me asking, who is the lucky lady who you like?” Keith wondered. 

Lance looked at him, meeting his gaze. Lance’s breath fell into time with Keith’s, and time seemed to stop. 

“You.” 

Lance leaned in again, this time aiming not for the side, but for the front of Keith’s face. Their lips met, and Lance’s world flipped. He held Keith’s head with his hands, and he could feel Keith’s pulse in his hands. He felt warm, happy, and light headed. He felt like a schoolboy, giddy and excited. He felt whole, as if he had been empty or broken before, and this boy had been the puzzle piece or the glue to fix him.

He felt as if his world had changed. Instead of feeling tense and stiff, he felt loose and carefree. He felt as if the world was his for the taking. After months and months, he finally felt...happy.


End file.
